I’ve recently come across this podcast with 5-10 minute episodes of career/life advice called Forward Tilt. I loved this episode because of how actionable the exercise is at the end. It’s all about how when you make an ask (of a prospective donor, an employer, a spouse, whomever) you need to shut up and allow that person to answer before you start adding in all the disclaimers and caveats and comforting walk-backs that you so desperately want to add.
Because if you can avoid that outpouring of walking back, you will increase your chances of getting a clear answer. And you can act on a clear answer. “I can’t give $5,000” or “We don’t have a role available at the moment” or “Yes, let’s set up some time to talk about this”.
The cool thing is you can do this for your own internal dialogue. Make an ask of yourself, “Am I really committed to doing this thing?” and then wait for a clear answer. For me, anything that comes up in the first five seconds is usually complete nonsense or excuses. Just wait, be patient, and see what rises to the surface. Then when that clear answer comes, figure out the way to act accordingly.
Murphy's Code 